One of the loneliest parts of the day is when I'm usually doing something and I am not. I'm sitting on the sofa with tons of thoughts. Or at night when everyone else is asleep and I'm on the sofa on my laptop or trying to watch the TV at a considerate volume keeping in mind that everyone else is asleep. Yup....I've been spending a lot of time on this sofa.
Did I ever tell you that to a certain degree I am claustrophobic? Well, I am. It's not so much elevators or small rooms. But being stuck, confined in a small space, not being able to breathe. Like the MRI - if that is still going to happen. The other thing is quite funny....Did you know that when I take off my contact lenses (not as often as I should) I wear my "coke bottle" eye glasses? Well, I even sleep with the glasses on! My hubster has asked me why as well as my kids and my response is, "So I can see my dreams." But the real reason is because I want to be able to jump out of bed if the kids need me without fumbling around for the darn glasses.
I hate it when I have a cold and congestion and cannot breathe through my nose. That makes me so crazy!!! It makes me feel like I am suffocating!!
So I am sitting here thinking...I can't even hear the baby monitor in the kids' room. The static it gives out sometimes hurts my ears but I have to turn up the volume in order to hear baby girl in the middle of the night.
The deafness in my left ear is suffocating. It's like an emptiness. Almost like the left side of my face no longer exists. Sometimes I imagine it spreading to my good ear. Then I have a hard time breathing when I think of that. THAT must STOP!!!
The kids are somewhat getting used to talking to my right side. They find it humorous when I tell them if they are going to whine or bicker then they can talk to my left ear and if they are going to tell me other, more important things they may talk to my right ear! If you know my son - he is having a blast with that idea. he doesn't whine but he can get pretty silly.
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