My heart hears you....

Wow! Last night was the first time all week that I slept through the night! Overall, yesterday was a better day with the meds and me just being me.

I got some responses from family about my blog. They were way concerned and at that moment I felt a bit embarrassed. Perhaps, this blog was a mistake. Perhaps, they will be offended by me making my journey so public - so open. I could have called some people...but talking is hard. Writing is much better. I'm not sure who my audience is (unless you've decided to be a "follower") but this blog is for me. Yeah, I'm writing for me. And well, for God too. Because I do want everyone to know that I am faithful.

Yesterday was the first time since Monday that I actually put my make-up on! Those of you that know me well - know that I cannot live without my MAC eye-brow pencil, liquid eye-liner, mascara and my Bare Minerals. I almost didn't recognize myself in the mirror! It was also the first time since Monday that I actually fixed a meal for my family. The kids were quite excited to get their "Filipino" food fix! Oh, it's the little things in life.

I even ventured out to Target with the kids since the hubster had a late night at work. I got most of what we needed - but was a bit disoriented once there. Target was a big mess....well, what I mean is with all of the re-organization they are doing there to add the grocery section - I had to walk around the entire store 3 times to find what I needed. My Target is a 2-story store...so both floors! The noise was almost deafening. On my good ear, I was picking up the carts clanging and rolling and all kinds of noise. My left ear was piercing. Anyone that tried to speak to me was almost inaudible. Even the lady at the cash register was difficult to hear. I'm going to have to call my ENT about that. I wonder if my right ear is just overwhelmed and perhaps working "double-time" in order to compensate for what the left is not doing. Or perhaps - am I losing the right as well?? Oh the paranoia!!

Some of you have asked if there has been some improvement in the left ear. No huge change. The kids, oh my kids are the best and sweetest kids ever!!! Every night since this happened - they kiss my ear and tell me, "I love you" into my "broken" ear. Then they ask me if I could hear them. My heart hears them. Maybe if my ear hears it enough, it will fix itself so that it too, can hear my babies!!!! My son, doesn't like me to refer to my ear as "broken" he said that "non-working" sounds better. But I told him that baby girl won't understand that and I want her to know that sometimes - things that are broken may be fixed.

My prayer for today - is to still be hopeful and grateful for one more day.

A friend of mine shared this and I hope you don't mind JK but I will add it to my blog for the day:
"When we lose hope in the face of tribulation, it means we have lost sight of God's love that was poured out in our heart. And to lose touch with God's love--to be loveless--is to lose touch with the greatest thing of all (1 Corinthians 13:13). Hope, then, is a measure of our realization of God's love."